Amy Chua has created a firestorm.
The author of the best-selling book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother has uncovered an unforeseen backlash with regard to her approach to parenting. And while the very name “Tiger Mother” invokes the image of a protective mother teaching and nurturing her cubs to grow up to become the feared cats of the jungle, the “Tiger” in the title refers to the personality of the Chinese mother.
An ancient Chinese parable rings the same bell.
“In the Sung district (a country in ancient China), a peasant was worried about his field of rice plants, which were growing too slow for his liking. Growing impatient for his crops to ripen, he gently tugged the shoots up, making them appear to have grown taller. After an entire day of tugging his rice plants up higher, he returned home exhausted and frustrated. He explained to his household: “Today I became sick while trying to help my rice plants to grow.” His son went out to see what his father meant by that, and found that due to his father’s “help,” the rice plants were beginning to wither away.“
Mencius (372-289 B. C.)
The story went on to say, there was another kind of peasant who did not weed the field, presuming it would make no difference to the rice plant. Of course his rice plants would be choked out by the weeds.
One extreme or the other—be it the one who pulls up his plants, or another does nothing—both create artificial environments that are less than ideal for the growth of the plant. A balance between the two extremes must be struck.
While many mammals (and yes, cats) share a common instinct with humans to protect and nurture their young, the similarities for the most part end there. Human mothers must take into account the individualities of her children – the fact that each child is wonderfully unique and needs to be educated to maturity in the context of his/her unique personalities.
This is the goal of the approach known as Infant Toddler Education
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